Our 2nd miscarriage

   
     Christmas 2017 will always be a day to remember.  That day was filled with so much sorrow and yet I received the best gift ever. What? How is that possible?  Grab a cup of coffee and let me share our story with y’all.

Our Baby's precious name 

      When Scott and I knew that we were expecting, we had a wave of many different emotions. We experienced great happiness, joy, fear, worry, and the unknown future of this precious baby. I wanted to be prepared as we had experienced a miscarriage before. Read about our first miscarriage here if you haven’t already:
  http://jenny-s-journey.blogspot.com/2015/05/miscarriage.html?m=1.






 I knew that God was the only one who could see the future life of this baby. God would know how many days or weeks the baby would grow, if the baby would make it full term, and if there would be 
any compilations. I didn’t want to have to experience another miscarriage, this has been a fear of mine for a while. However,  I knew I could trust the Lord to take care of me and trust that He did and 
does have a special plan for my life .

~"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..." Jeremiah 1:5


~"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
11 Timothy 1:7

~"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee."
Isaiah 26:3

~"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I saw this sign in a shop and knew I needed it! 

       So, I could spend my days worriyjng or praying. I was saddened at the thought of losing another baby. What good would it do for me to worry? It definitely would not help the situation. I knew that I could not let Satan get the victory by me choosing fear.  I started praying specifically for God to give me peace though this journey. I confided in a few close friends and asked them to pray with me for peace. I wanted to have peace throughout the whole situation. I wanted peace if we had another miscarriage or peace if I was going to deliver a baby. It is so very easy for me to give in to fear.  I didn’t want that to be my focus so I started praying fervently. 


~ "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty, I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust."
Psalms 91:1-2

~ "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."    John 14:27

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength."
      -Corrie Ten Boom



       On Christmas Day I started spotting and texted my husband immediately. He works in the oil field for those who may not know. Yes, he had to work on Christmas Day and has worked every single holiday since we moved here in July/August  2016. I knew he would call me back as soon as he was able to. He called me back to confirm and check in on me. Here is what Scott said he was feeling and thinking:

                   “As soon as I saw the text I knew. I was eager to call Jenny as soon as I had the chance. I wanted to know how she felt. She kept me updated with texts throughout the day and we talked as soon as we could. I had prayed that Jenny would have peace through the situation and stay strong. I remember texting her to stay strong. When I came home, I could tell that she was indeed strong. I could tell that God had given her peace about the situation as we were talking together.” 

      The bleeding and cramps continued to increase and I had to remain in the bathroom for a while. I won’t go into great detail to spare y’all the visuals. I will just share that it was a very scary thing to go through by myself at home. However, I would not have wanted it any other way. Why? I wouldn't have been able to experience this great gift that God had given me. Scott checked in a few more times via text and phone before he was able to come home to be with me. I was so relieved when he was able to be there. Christmas was on a Monday and Scott had the next two days off. That was totally a part of God’s plan. God knew that I would need him to be here with me. Thank you, Scott, for taking such good care of me during that time.  Over the next few days we cried, hugged, held each other, and prayed. We wanted to grieve on our own at first and process everything. It was Christmas Day so we had waited to tell  some friends so they could pray with us. Thank you to those of you who stopped to pray for us. My heart was breaking however, I knew that God had a plan. 

~ "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yeah, I will help thee; yeah, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."    Isaiah 41:10


~ "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."    John 14:18


~ "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."   Psalm 147:3

Some sweet friends sent us some cards

            This miscarriage was so different on so many levels than our last one. I have been praying
 for about a week now as to how I was going to share this. I didn’t want to compare and share all the bad things.  I even asked a few of Y'ALL to pray for me as I share my story. Why? It would be so easy to make this a sad and gloomy post. Yes, having a miscarriage is terrible and so very sad.  I don’t wish for anyone to have to endure that kind of pain and heartache. I wanted the focus of this post to be about the positive side. Yes, y'all heard that right, the positive side. What is the positive side? God heard and answered my prayer for peace.  



~ "Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. "     Philippians 4:6-7  



        What was the best gift I received? I received peace from God, that was the amazing gift! God gave me such peace, it’s so hard for me to even put it into words for y’all to understand. I have never in all my years felt such great peace during such a terrible time. I am so thankful for answered prayer. This doesn't mean that it hurt any less, made it any easier, or that I didn't grieve as much. It just means that God gave me such peace and I felt like He was right there with me holding my hand. It was amazing and I am so glad that I decided to pray specifically and not just in general.

~ "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear."     Isaiah 65:24

~"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."

Matthew 21:22

~Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."     Hebrews 4:16



    I told Scott that I needed to get out one of those nights. He took me to the town square where the city was still decorated for Christmas. We held hands, drank coffee, sat and looked at all of the beautiful lights, had a good talk, and made some memories. I am so thankful for you, Scotty. Thank you for going through this journey of life with me. I love you so much! 

          Church came 6 days later and I didn't really feel like going. I wasn't sure how the day was going to go. I did know that I needed to be there. Was it hard? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Was it good for me? Yes. God didn't want me sitting at home that Sunday. A couple that Scott and I have known for a few years lives somewhat in our area. So we try to get together every once in awhile with them. 
Sadly, they have been through this too many times. She had messaged and asked if she could bring 
me lunch on Sunday or if I wanted to go to lunch with them. At first I wasn't sure so I prayed about it. God knew that I needed you, sweet friend! I am glad that I decided to go. I needed to be able to share with someone in person, especially one who understood. Thank you for talking with me, sharing scripture, sharing what you had learned, and most of all, thank you for your continued prayers.

~ "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."  2 Corinthians 1:3-
         
    Thank you to those of y'all who took the time to care and pray for us. One quiet morning after Scott had left to work I thought of each one of you by name and thanked God for you. 
As I looked at the flowers and card I was reminded of those friends. Y'all were miles away and stopped to bring our requests before the Lord. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. You know the saying, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." So very true.  God has been and will continue to heal my heart. God took away my fear and gave me the peace I had so fervently prayed for. That is something I will cherish for ever and never forget.

Thank you sweet friend! 

 
      Scott and I talked about what we would name our baby. Since it was on Christmas we had a few ideas. However, because God had blessed us with baby and had answered our prayer concerning peace, it didn't take long to decide. We knew that our baby's name would be Peace.



       I have had people ask me, "What can I do to help you?" I have also had people say, "I don't know what to say. So, I decided to come up with a few for each to help answer those questions. I don't think there is a right answer and everyone is different. I don't think you have to do every one of these every time. Just think about one that would work for your situation. For some reason miscarriage is not a topic that too many people talk about these days? Why? Painful? Awkward? I am not sure but I want to change that. This is what I have experienced with my 2 miscarriages.

What can I do to help you?

*Let them know that they are not forgotten and don't ignore them.

               -I have noticed that I have friends who decide to "stay away or push themselves away" and pretend nothing happened. I also have friends who let me know that I am not forgotten and that God hasn't forgotten me either. It may be hard and we may seem like we don't want you around or want to hear from you but trust me, we do.

*Pray for them and send a note/card/email/text/message
    
            -It means a lot to know that someone is taking the time to pray for you. There are so many ways to get into touch with people these days. They may not respond right away but I know it will be a blessing and an encouragement to know you are praying for them. So tell them! Check in with them and make sure that they are okay. They will respond when they are able to.

*Bring them dinner/ groceries

           -Who doesn't love or need food? Food is usually one of the last things you think about when having a miscarriage. They may not be up for company. Our pastor and his wife in Corpus had brought us food. That was a blessing! A teacher friend in Corpus had went shopping and dropped off bags of food. She just picked up what she thought we could use. Scott answered the door and she just wanted to be a blessing and brought in groceries and left. You don't have to stay and talk, just drop and go.

*Send them flowers
  
         -This lets them know that you are acknowledging their loss. I received quite a few flowers in Corpus and it was nice to watch them grow. One of my friends in Kansas sent me flowers here. She said the only thing I can do from a far is pray for you. That meant a lot to me.

*Remember the special dates

         -If you are unsure of the dates, ask them. I have a few people who have shared how they were praying because they knew my due date was coming up...things like that. It is nice to know that people are praying for you on those hard days.

         Those are just a few things that I have experienced and they made a different. This is only what I have observed and may not be right for everyone. See how you can be a blessing to your friend who suffers a miscarriage.

           Sometimes the best thing to do is say nothing at all. If you have been there before, let them know that. Pray for them, be there for them, send scripture, and love them.  What to say....well, here is a list of what NOT to say:

*At least your miscarriage was early.
*At least you didn't have a D&C or have to give birth
*You're young and can always try again
*Are you going to try again?
*Don't drink coffee
*Get over it
....I will stop right there and spare you the many things I have been told.

        Thank you for taking the time to read my post. God is good and I look forward to what He has planned for our family for 2018. Heaven is looking a little sweeter these days. Now we have 2 precious babies in heaven waiting for us. I am so thankful that I know Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I look forward to the day I will be reunited with precious babies!

                     Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Baby Nutter and Baby Peace!