Happy 4th Birthday, Baby Nutter!

Happy 4th Birthday, Baby Nutter! 

August 20th is a very special date here in the Nutter house. Our sweet little baby was supposed to be born on August 20th. Every year we do something special to celebrate and remember the short little time that God had allowed us to have with this little one. This year Baby Nutter would have been 4 years old! Grab a cup of coffee and join me on a walk down memory lane! 

Happy 4th Birthday, Sweet Baby! 

Each year we make the time to stop and remember our little one. Why? Because our baby was a little miracle and something that only God could create! We longed and prayed for this little baby! Our hearts and lives were filled with so much joy, hope, and even anxiousness for this little one. I remember how much excitement had consumed my heart when I saw those two blue lines. I also remember hearing those very hard words, "I'm sorry, your baby has no heartbeat." Every life is worth celebrating and even though our baby isn't here in our arms, we can still thank God for the short time we had. I'm so incredibly blessed and thankful that God chose me to be Baby Nutter's mom and to  carry Baby Nutter for as long as I was able to. My motherhood may be different than most, but I'm still so thankful. How can one have so much love for someone they have never met? I believe with all my heart that God has allowed me to endure such a trial as loosing Baby Nutter (and Baby Peace)  to use it as a ministry. How? One way I can is to be there for others who have suffered a miscarriage and offer hope and encouragement to them. Also, I can help through this blog, but I look forward to what ministry God has for me in the future!

The day we found out our happy news! 

 As the first August 20th came around, only a few months later, Scott and I had planned a photo shoot on the beach with one of his friends as the photographer. It was going to be a beautiful keepsake and reminder for us and something that we would never forget. Scott and I went and handpicked some balloons and other things that we were planning on taking with us to the photoshoot.  However, on August 20, 2015, there was a bad thunderstorm that had come and we were not able to get our pictures done. In addition to that thunderstorm I had a terrible migraine that made me quite sick. I'm sure the stress of the day didn't help any. It was a huge disappointment for sure. I know that later on in the evening, as the weather cleared up, Scott and I took some time together and went down to the beach by ourselves to reflect. Afterwards he took me out to dinner at Jason's Deli. I wasn't very hungry since I had a migraine. I remember we both had soup. Even though the day didn't turn out quite like we had imagined, we still took some time to be together and remember. 

Beautiful flowers from my 2nd grade class and school 

The beach where we were going to have our photo shoot done at 

The night we went to the beach to reflect

August 20, 2016, we moved into our very first house! We closed on our house on August 19, but we were not able to move in until the 20th. This wasn't planned and our closing date kept changing and we weren't sure what to think. I think now that this was a special little blessing from the Lord. A reminder to us that He knows and sees our hearts. Wow, what a day to remember and how very special on Baby Nutter's 1st birthday! Scott and I took time to talk, cry, and remember as we moved the few things that we had with us from the truck into our very empty house! 

August 20, 2017, Scott surprised me with some beautiful purple orchids for Baby Nutter's 2nd birthday! I kept them alive for a few months, but then they died. They were very pretty to look at and a good reminder that God is the Creator and Giver of life! 

August 20, 2018, we were traveling from Louisiana to Tennessee to meet our friends who were getting married. We had a very fun filled day. My friend and I got manicures, we drank some yummy coffee, we all had dinner at chick-fil-a, and then had some adventures at USA Fun Park. We ended the evening by enjoying some ice cream at Baskin Robbins in honor of Baby Nutter's 3rd birthday! 

   August 20, 2019, we knew we would both be working and might not have too much time. So, on the 19th (last night) we went to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and enjoyed some yummy ice cream and got some chocolates to go! Scott and I talked on the way home about each year we celebrated this precious gift from God! We also talked about what we thought our little one would be doing now and who they would be as a person. As I interact with little people daily, I can't help but wonder what Baby Nutter would be like. We decided to get some balloons this year. Scott picked them out- a red heart as well as a pink heart. I thought of doing the number 4, which was a little hard to find at first, but we finally found it. We picked out some flowers together too. 

We decided to have Starbucks coffee this morning on Baby Nutter's special day.  Scott came up with a very sweet idea. He said we could have them write Baby Nutter on our coffee cup! I love it! The lady was worried as she said her handwriting was terrible- I think it looks just fine! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Have you experienced a miscarriage? In what ways do you celebrate your little one? I would love to hear your answers. 
Remember, you are not forgotten and you are loved!!

Happy 4th Birthday, Baby Nutter! 
Mommy and Daddy love you!